Then I wouldn't be smiling, while I'm crying inside.

aih". really pissed off this whole week!
my wifi doesn't work. i hv to complain for 3 times n now i got my super slow connection =='
this is a note i posted before at fb, but i'm still feeling it.
so i'm gonna post it here =)

Advices have been told like a zillion times,
by a billion people.
Promises have been made like a thousand times,
by ME.
I was holding tight the promises,
till the person came and tore every single word of mine into pieces.
I was happy,
till the person came and made me feel so unsecured.

I ain't blaming this person,
but I'm blaming myself,
to be this weak,
to be this useless,
to be this desperate,
of not being able to let go of something,
that has never ever been mine.
NEVER.

"Live with dreams, not in dreams."
A quotation I've known from the very first.
Thus, I'm living with dreams at day,
and living in dreams at night.

How I wish,
I could turn back time.
How I wish,
I could never know this person.
How I wish,
everything had never been started.
Then I wouldn't be smiling,
while I'm crying inside.